A post specially dedicated to my beloved late grandma

"Lisa, do you know that ah poh has passed away this morning?"

Even typing this makes me teared, the feeling is so..so...it's just heartache, painful, choking :(

This is by far the worst news that I've received throughout my life. I wasn't expecting this, to be honest, I thought you will always be there, 

I thought that you were just sick, like 'not serious' illness, just some common sickness, 

I thought I will still be able to see you when I go back, 

I thought you will be able to see my graduation photo,

I thought I can hear you tell me that 'Wah Lisa, let lui ah, yao hao dai yat a!' (Wah Lisa, clever girl, get number 1 again?)

I thought....... I just thought you wouldn't leave me.....

I know it's too late to say anything now.

But one thing I just want to tell you that I am really sorry that I didn't get to spend much time to talk to you this year and I know you have forgiven me when you appeared in my dream the other day. Since the day you passed away, I have been looking forward to you appearing in my dreams, I waited and waited but you didn't appear or maybe you did but I don't remember when I woke up the next day, until that day you appeared and told me that you will always be there looking at me. Although I could barely remember what was the dream, I remembered you pointing at your photo and telling me that's not the real you, the real you was standing in front of me and told me not to be sad. The next thing I know is hugging you tight and you stroking my hair. How I wished that dream could last longer :')

The thought of losing you is unbearable, so I tried not to think about it all the time. I thought I will be fine, but actually I was just pretending to be okay. I don't want my family to be worried of me but somehow they sensed that I wasn't okay and asked me if I am alright. 

I wasn't able to be there at your funeral, 

I wasn't able to see you for the last time, 

I wasn't able to bid you goodbye,

I wasn't able to tell you how proud am I to have such a lovely grandma like you,

I wasn't able to thank you for everything you've done for me,

I wasn't able to fulfill my role as a good granddaughter,

There're so so so many more 'I wasn't able to....'

Although I couldn't be there for your funeral, my cousins sent me some photos during the funeral, it makes me feel like I was there with everyone to bid you goodbye for the last time. They also told me that most of them teared and couldn't continue to read my fb post about you and one of the aunts even showed others about the post. Irene even asked Ah hao to print it out and let ah pak to read it. This tells me how much you've contributed to our lives and you will be dearly missed.

The month of November is a month to remember and pray for those who have slipped into God's hand. I read about an article on the "Reflection on death" one day and it makes me understand what my grandma was trying to tell me in my dream. 

The great and sad mistake of many people,

is to imagine that those whom death has taken,

leave us. They do not leave us.

They remain! Where are they? In darkness?

No. it is we who are in darkness.

We do not see them, but they see us.

Their eyes, radiant with glory are fixed

on our eyes full of tears.

Fr Karl Rahner

Ah poh, I know you are always looking at me now and I will cherish all the memories that you've left me. Can I make 阿嬤的話 our song? I will try to find one Cantonese song but before that lets make this our song okay? And I promise you, one day I will be able to sing this song for you without shedding a tear, I want you to know that your granddaughter is actually quite a good singer >< I don't remember singing a song for you, and I know there wouldn't be a chance for me to sing one for you anymore. But that's okay, I know you'll be able to hear it and I shall try this song again next time I go karaoke :)

I watched one movie called "The Stolen Years" the other day and I would like to dedicate one phrase to those who have lost their loved ones. It says something like this:

It is not important whether I will be there or not

during every important events in your life,

What matters is that whether you will think of me

during these important days.

Ah poh, how are you doing in heaven now? 

I miss you a lot :')

Where have I been?

Hello peeps, it has been real long since I last updated my blog!

*cleaning spider web on the screen* 

*mowing grass* 

*wiping dust and cough!*

I wasn't that busy actually but just didn't know what to write, just hmmm...lack of inspiration.
Haha I told my friend I was going to write about my hands but I don't think my hands want to gain so much of popularity, so I decided not to blog about them...YET..haha
*hands monologue: Yeah right. As if there're many people reading your blog. duhhh stop dreaming*
Hmm, so where have I been all this while? What have I been doing?
Well so many things have happened for the past few months and I'll try to update bits and pieces of them in this post, so here's a warning, this MIGHT be a LONG post... Just 'might' la... If you're rushing for lectures, labs or dates, or if you're cooking or baking or showering or in the toilet doing big or small business, you're more than welcome to read my blog! hahaha *How's this related to the long post?!*
Without further ado, here're my updates:

So I went to Wellington during the sem break with my boyfie and my besties, and also to support Jenny who will be playing netball for OMSA in the BERSATU games. Here are some photos during the trip :D

Photos on the displayed cable car <3

In front of the beehive, the parliament building. We missed the tour so we can only take some photos outside the building. haha and you can see how windy is Wellington by just looking at my flying hair!

Had some snacks in a restaurant. They were really yum but just a bit pricey for the quantity.

Had this really wonderful dessert at the Library on a Tuesday night where they offer 'buy one get one free' promotion. It was really packed that night and we sat in a kind-of-like VIP rooms! *waving hands* Thank you Thank you :D

My breakfast on one of the morning. We just randomly walked into one restaurant because we didn't know which restaurants were good. Then end up ordering this salmon, bread and some fried mashed potato dish, luckily it tasted quite nice :) or maybe it was just cause I was hungry that time haha. But the environment was really nice and you will know why from the photo below. 

Joke of the day: Our beloved friend, Nikki ordered a short macchiato and when the waiter served her the macchiato, all of our eyes almost popped out of our eye sockets because the cup was so small and yet the cup wasn't even half-filled. The funny thing was that we reacted so synchronously and the waiter actually saw our reactions and you know what happened next... so embarrassing ahh! *digging holes on the ground*

And of course Nikki was struggling to finish the macchiato cause it was sooo thick and bitter that no matter how much sugar was added, it doesn't seem to sweeten it even for a bit! Hahaha pity pity!

Such a nice environment for your morning tea. The lady in green is actually an artist and she's drawing a portrait of the pianist!

In front of Te Papa Museum. Apparently if you didn't come here during your visit to Wellington, you basically didn't really go to Wellington, but I don't really agree with this statement lehh >< 

Te Papa Museum

Just a random photo of Jenny hahaha 

Had this seafood chowder during our one year celebration dinner. It tastes superb! Will definitely try it again next time :P

My main for the night. It was okay, the taste combination is something new that I haven't tried before, definitely worth a try!

THIS DESSERT IS AWESOME! If I'm not mistaken, this should be some sort of green tea and ginger ice cream with apple wrapped with the popiah skin haha. When I saw this on the menu, I was like seriously??! Ginger and green tea?! I bet you'll think like me as well right? Who on earth will actually think of this combination kannnn... hahaha

Jenny the number 6!

So everyone went to the closing dinner except me and Kui Yuan, haha and so we decided to go for a nice dinner too! I think it must be the hunger evil that casts its spell on us that we end up ordering a fish as our on tray and one whole chicken as our main meal. Imagine 2 girls finishing one whole chicken! *Please give them a round of applause!* *Come, limbeh claps for you!*

\

Yep so this is the chicken. Luckily it wasn't too big haha when we finally accomplished our mission in finishing the whole chicken, the waiter actually came and gave us a 'high five'. And the table in front of us actually offered us their lamb cause they were not able to finish theirs -,- 

So that's about it for my Wellington trip, and the next event is my 22nd birthday and I have posted all the photos in facebook so I wouldn't talk much about that la! Haha but just a really BIG THANK YOU to all my awesome friends who are as awesome as me for all your blessings, wishes and gifts! I feel really grateful for having you guys in my life and I hope we will still keep in touch with each other after we graduate!

So what's next.. Hmm yeah my rural placement in Taupo. It was a really great experience working in the Amcal Keehans Pharmacy. All the staffs are really friendly and helpful! Although I was a bit shy, they show their patience in teaching me and helping me out to fill my assignment book. I think I should be more prepared next time and read more cause during this placement, I actually spent most of my time standing behind the dispensary instead of going in front of the counter and talk to customers to train on my communication skill. Well, after my 5-day of rural placement, it was finally holidays for me! Oh well, now then I remembered that I actually missed out a great event which is Malam Malaysia! How could I forget about it! Months and months of practices, and everything was paid off on that night! Hmm if you wanna see my performance, can check it out on youtube under Malam Malaysia 2013! haha or you can just click on the links below *wink* Haha personally I think the performance was okay but just that the sound system was a bit crappy, and probably I was too tired already that night after one whole week of rehearsals that I was just hoping to finish my performance ASAP!
Scientist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W14mjO6PwLU
Titanium + When I was your man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5KkeWDj4KI&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PLtLoSlMbqx4qg0RCHxaCqicW4hny1diOe

Yuh Feng's makeup for the Chinese Dance

Benice as a Kadazan girl and me in my costume for one of my song. Ignore my dark circles, I am just tired and lack of sleep :(

Say Hello to Minnie hehe

Singers and the dancers! haha ulala

Yay! Sing Yii came all the way from Christchurch for Malam Malaysia! Sorry for not being able to make it for our lunch date :(

<3 <3 *why no give me flowers??!!* Haha even cauliflower also okay ahhh

......

......

......

Okay, now back to Taupo, oh ya holidays in Taupo! haha hmm I think the MOST memorable events in this trip is that we actually get lost in the middle of nowhere and thanks to the gps in our smartphone, we finally make our way back to the city after a 2-hour walk beside the highway, not forgetting to mention being honked by drivers, the strong urge to just stop a car and ask for a ride back to the city, sore legs and hungry tummy...For the photos, you guys can find them in Jenny's blog cause I gave her all the photos in my phone already.

WELL...Thats about it for this post. I hope it's not too long and didn't bore you stiff cause I think it's quite interesting la! Hahaha and hopefully my next post will be out quite soon cause I already have an idea on what to write :) So till my next post, bye and see you!

Love you guys xoxo

Goodnight and sleep tight!

Goodnight and see you tomorrow!

Sweet dreams!

Miss you guys!

Keep warm and Take care!

*Are you going to end it OR NOT?*

Bye! hahaha

我。。怎么了。。

好久好久都没更新部落格了。。想想真的有这么忙吗？？
回头看看，其实真的还好。。只是。。有时觉得好累好累。。。
好像给自己好好休息的时间越来越少。。
觉得好对自己不起哦。。
说好的要好好照顾自己的，现在怎么啦？
发现越来越不会表达自己了，
有时连自己在郁闷什么都不会说。。。
只是觉得心好闷。好闷。。
难道我真的还没做到最好吗。。。

脸上的笑，什么时候越变越假了。。。

Why you no tell me?

I was just wondering that when people asked you,"Eh, you didn't tell me you got a bf dy."
Hmm well,I just thought that it's a bit weird to tell your friend " Eh, I have a bf dy" out of the blue, like where should I insert this sentence in a conversation?
Friend: "Hi Lisa, what you up to today?"
Me: "Oh well,it's a busy day for me. I still have one lab after this ><. What bout you?"
Friend: "Yeah, kinda same. Another tute after this."
Me: "Oh ya, I've got a bf dy :D"
---Hahaha, don't you find this awkward? It's like SOO random, don't you think so? But ya, maybe this situation is applicable to those close friends cause to your best best buddies,you'd better tell them ASAP or else you might get some *&^%$%%&***%$^---
Buddy: "Eh, apa lu doing?"
Me: "I got bf liao"
Buddy: "OMGGGG tell me who's the unlucky guy?!"
.....Okay I know this is an abrupt stop but I'm still rushing for assignments!....
Anyway good luck and all the bestest best for finals!
xoxo

Updates :D

Oh well, it seems like I've abandoned my blog for quite some time. It's been almost one month since second semester started and ya I was busy from the first day till today and nothing's gonna change till the final exam, at least, I guess.
Alright, what should I update in this blog? Oh yep,my 21st Birthday! haha well I actually hide my birthday in Facebook cause I wanna see who's the friends that really pay attention to me ;) hahaha so for those who forgot, I know you know la haha but don't feel bad, cause i might not remember yours as well! >< HAHA and Miss Karen!! You're one of them! but luckily you sent a belated wish like...erm...10 days later? Fine, still acceptable la. Unlike the previous bdays, this year it's a much more simpler celebration without much fancy surprises, just hotpot with a bunch of friends that I treasured a lot :) And thanks guys for the presents, cards and wishes. I know it's a bit late to say this now cause it's already one month past my birthday, but late is better than none right?! haha
Hmm whatelse? Well thing's been a bit different since second semester started, haha if you're going to ask what've changed, then NAH I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU >< haha but if you're smart enough then you might be able to guess it *wink*
I guess that's it for today and ya hope you'll see me posting something new soon (maybe 1 month later?)
Okay peeps, have a great week ahead and you know I miss you guys! (including those who don't remember my bday, yep YOU!haha)
God bless :)

懵懂二女之旅

终于，两个星期，四张paper,我熬过来了！
代价是，黑眼圈，眼袋，豆豆，还有多余的重量！他x的！哈哈
考试前，一个中学朋友说要来这儿玩玩度个假。
哈哈，当然好啦！要不我三个星期的假期真得不知怎么过 -.-
嗯，说说这个朋友吧，和她虽然不是很熟很熟，可是我们有个共同点，就是神经都超大条的！
哈哈，这不是我说的，她自己也承认啊！哈哈
好吧。就让我来带你们和我一起经历我们超random的旅程吧!

星期日。。。1.55pm
一个人带着一个背包和一个手提包，就这样准备踏上一个四天三夜的旅程。
四小时的车程，一路上都在whatsapp.哈哈哈
今年第二次去Queenstown，所以下车的地方只知道在 Athol St.，然后就靠运气找酒店咯。
哦，到Qtown已经天黑了。问了司机大哥Millenium Hotel怎样去，他说："Turn left and walk straight till you reach a roundabout, then turn right and walk up the hill for about 3 minutes then you will see the hotel."
简单！难不倒我啦，哈哈。就这样，左转然后右转，然后。。。。
Jeng JEng JENg JENG! 眼前有两座山，很好很好，那一座？
好问题，好问题！
可是不是唯一的问题，两旁的路灯越来越少，根本看不到山上有什么酒店。
想随便选一座走上去看看，可是周围都没有人，好像很恐怖酱，会不会突然间有人那个麻包袋绑架我酱，啊啊啊啊啊，越想越可怕。
没办法，只好求救！电话拿出，一看只剩5%的电池。糟了个糕，赶快联络朋友，叫她去Starbucks找我，还好她的方向感超好，记得Starbucks在哪。
就这样，有小小惊但无险的一天过了。

星期一。。。一整天，哈哈
Check out 后，就去定滑雪配套，车票，衣服，和吃所谓Qtown最好吃的Fergburger。（其实真的还蛮好吃的，面包脆脆的，料也还蛮多，值得一试！）然后就乘巴士到Coronet Peak，大约30分钟的路程吧。
哇，好美好美，雪山，雪地，好冷！><
全副武装后，就准备上第一堂课咯！哈哈，好期待 :)
可是，第一个难关就是这十八层的楼梯。
这雪鞋根本就限制着我灵活的脚，手上又拿着ski poles 和那个长长的滑雪板，
弱小的我，呜呜，用吃奶的力量，终于站在平平的雪地上！感谢主！
一个钟半的课，我跌了一次！哈哈，还蛮不错了耶。
平地挑战根本就sap sap water, 现在让我们去斜坡！啊啊，也没有很难吧哈哈！
滑来滑去，闪来闪去，喊来喊去，哈哈哈，就这样半天过了。
看看时间也差不多了，偶朋友突然说想挑战那个另一个更斜更高更难的坡。
NO NO NO NO NO NO WAY！！！
我胆小你又不是不知，不要啊啊！！
下一秒，我已经站在斜坡的最高点，糟糕，有种被骗上来的感觉。
没办法了，今天有没有学到东西，就赌在这个坡上了。
Ready。。。。GO！啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！
残了，90度转弯，双脚死命出力转方向，phew~ 成功。
可是。。速度越来越快，眼看下一个转弯处就要到了，
转弯啊啊啊啊！！！噢，还好赶得及。
又可是，越来越斜的坡！越来越快！
啊啊啊啊！得慢下来，否则就会飞出去了，
不妙不妙，整个人直冲斜坡旁的积雪，
咻，上去，开眼睛，就看到天空了！
啊啊啊啊，又跌倒了。。。
站也站不起来，只好等救星了。
噢噢，看到朋友正滑下来，我根本就无视形象大喊：JAMIEE！！HELP ME！
哈哈，就这样她跟我一样，想慢下来救我，咻一声，也跌下来！
哈哈，paiseh eh ><
就这样，筋疲力尽，伤痕累累，但非常丰富的一天又过了。
哦，不，还没结束。我们还要搬地方住，因为酒店太贵，住一天爽一下，就要搬去backpackers住。
问题是，我忘了怎样去backpackers，而且backpackers是我订的，我还很confirm地和Jamie说，很容易去的啦！呵呵呵。。。
不过，我们两个傻大姐，虽然说是绕了远路，还拖着个大大的行李，
带着满身的疲惫，还是给我们找到了！哈哈哈

Beginner Lift Pass

沿路去Coronet Peak

Jamie :)

Waiting for FergBurger

星期二。。。还是一整天
今天的行程--Gondola and Luge, Qtown City
很可惜的是，整个Qtown 今天好像很伤心酱，被弥漫在雾中。
从山上根本看不到整个Qtown风景，可惜可惜。。
不过没关系，这也是另一种朦胧美 :)
然后下午我们就租脚车绕Qtown。
可能是好久都没骑了吧，开始时，无法直线行驶，好久才找到平衡点。
哈哈，还发生了一些小插曲。
因为在人行道上行驶，往往要是有人看到，应该都会闪一边让我们过吧。
可是呢，就偏偏有人不会，这对情侣呢，只剩下行人道那三分之一的位置给我过。
嗯，想想应该够吧，就骑了过去。
糟糕，一时失去平衡，就这样差点倒在那情人身上，还好，说时迟，那时快，
双脚站稳，才没整个人扑在他身上。哈哈哈 真的超尴尬的啦！
随便啦！又没有人认得我。哈哈哈
噢对，还有个超经典的。。不过如果你现在在吃饭还是什么，最好先吃完再看。
哈哈哈哈哈
就是哦，我的朋友啦！都是她的错。叫我帮她拍照，然后走着走着，怎么感觉好像有什么东西在鞋底，他x的, 酱大坨鸭屎都会被我踩到，不知是好运还是超好运。
算了，到湖边洗洗吧，真是的，Jamie还一直笑，还拍照！不过说真的啦，照片要是去除我的动作，其实还拍得蛮漂亮的。哈哈哈。。
晚餐呢，本来打算下厨。兴致勃勃地来到超市，脚车停好，往门口一站，伊，怎么门还不打开？下一秒，整间超市变暗！什么？！关店了？！有没有酱准时哦？一到就关店！
哈哈哈，真不知是好笑是好好笑，算了，懒惰走回town area，今晚就cookies+nestum当晚餐吧！哈哈

BelowZero Ice Bar

This is an ice glass. Cool~ haha

星期三。。。又是一整天
今天呢，我们会join Jeffrey和Lee Ying去Milford Sound坐Cruise。
车程保守估计约4小时，可是人算不如天算，
竟然迟到那10分钟，船开走了，想游都游不过去，
怎么办？住多一晚，搭明天最早的船咯。
可是在这荒山野岭，方圆100公里都收不到line的地方，要怎么告诉妈妈和flatmate说：今夜不回家~~~ 哈哈哈
还好，backpackers有提供wifi, 可以告诉妈和Jenny今晚回不了家了，不用担心！哈哈
哦，对，今天也发生了一些小小意外。
车的battery竟然went flat -.- 有没有酱衰哦！还好，世界上已经很少很少的好人被我们遇上了。哈哈，又一个难题解决！
晚上本来要去看glow worms,可是伸手不见五指，还要在树林里寻找，哎哟，这种事还是不要搞我。
所以最后还是回房睡觉！可能太累了，一觉睡到天亮！

A must-have jump shot! haha

星期四。。。半天！哈哈
早上，还好没迟到，上了最早的一班船。
风景好美，大自然真的很奇妙，处处都像一幅画。
两个小时沉浸在美景里，人生另一大享受啊!

Milford Sound

Awesome!

Milford Sound Cruise

就这样，美景和瀑布为我们的旅程画上了完美的句点。

这一次的旅程处处都是惊喜，虽然很多事都出乎预料，但这也是让此次旅程更特别的调味料。
哇，就这个post，我花上了半天的时间来整理。
Enjoy! :)

:(

你忘了吗？

你。。。你真的忘了吗？

难道这么快你就不记得了吗？

。。。    。。。

。。。     。。。

。。。     。。。

。。。。。。

。。。。。。。。

。。。。       。。。。

。。。                。。。

我不是才刚刚喂了你吗，肚子？？？！！

嗯，想想，今天吃了好多东西，明天。。等着拉肚子吧 ><

。。。。饿饿饿饿饿饿饿饿饿饿饿饿饿娥娥饿。。。。